Goobye, Jim Carroll

Jan. 10, 2022

I lost a lifelong friend this past week—Jim Carroll. Some of you also knew him in our school years, and some of you met him here on Facebook. He was wise, thoughtful, very intelligent, kind, funny, a lover of music, a person whose appreciations were infectious—just an all-around enjoyable, likable, stimulating person. He was 67 and died of natural causes, a very quick departure that no one could have predicted or prevented. Just one of those tragic misfortunes of life. I already miss Jim more than I can say, and I know others will feel the same. Let’s do as Jim did—enjoy our conversations and times together, be brothers and sisters to one another, share our appreciations, say kind things to one another, enjoy our everyday lives and our families—and love music.

For those of you who knew Jim, here are some additional notes about him that you might enjoy hearing. 

Jim was the most natural music lover I ever met, starting in Fourth or Fifth Grade. He was a talented musician, both drums and guitar. He played in bands, starting in 8th or 9th grade. He wrote songs and sang. People on FB were always asking him for advice and recommendations on bands, music history, albums, stereo equipment. And Jim always replied with helpful knowledge and a mirroring of the other person’s enthusiasm.

He lived in Texas, where he had a career as a counselor to college students, a life’s work of understanding people, empathizing, giving practical assistance. He raised a son he was very proud of and had several beloved grandchildren. He was enjoying his retirement with his wife Cindy. He shared many times on FB, and in private conversations with me, that he had married his high school sweetheart, that Cindy was the love of his life. 

Jim lived a successful life. The tributes from his many friends all say the same thing: that he was an extraordinarily likable, generous, and easy-to-be-with person. This is exactly what I would have said about Jimmy as a boy. He made everything fun. Jimmy made you feel that you yourself were interesting and well-liked. You always wanted to be with Jimmy.

I’ll add below the tribute I put on Jim’s FB page. I wanted to add my words to the words of others there—for the benefit of his family and his other friends, but also beacuse it felt like the closest I could come to telling Jim now what I wish I had told him in person. 

But I do think Jim knew how I thought of him. We both expressed in smaller ways, across these past 12 years of Facebook connection, how we felt about our lifelong friendship and our shared boyhood. Jim and I both got that right. We reconnected after 40 years apart (thank you, Facebook), and we were both able to tell one another, with no masculine shyness or holding back, how glad we were to have known one another as boys, and to know one another again.